Awan yang terpilu...

This is the time when I feel really sad about myself and also my life. I keep on telling myself how special I am and why I have been chosen to face all these difficulties in my life. I get married and yet to find the most happiness part of my life. The only thing that I could figure out is the smiling face of my baby girl Aryan. I am somehow not in the favourite list of my family, friends and even my working life. Maybe is because of the personality that I have. I am a very plain person in nature. Well nothing much of my physical structure, my face and yet my so called wisdom. To be honest, I never really can compete with everything around me. At most of the times, I spend myself wondering how happy my sister is to have a very lovable husband, good money, good set of friends...I keep remembering how temper my husband can be....how difficult and serious is my mother...and how wild are my my friends... For god sake nothing jokes me!! Life is just like sad and boring cloud passing bye.. Sometimes, I feel like I just want to run and never stops running. Maybe what Forest Gump did was what he finds make him happy and content. Life is about running until you die. Because the road you've been passing is always full of enemies, jealousy, rude and bad mouthing where people keep bringing you down all the time. Sometimes I feel like zipping my mouth and never talk to anyone just write and listen to all my sad music collections. In the same time I feel like I'm running. Running with the two fingers on the keyboard. Or perhaps dancing in this very unwelcoming stage of life! But somehow there is no regret in my life. At least, that is how I must feel and keep telling myself everyday... so just pack my stuffs and move on. Move on and move along. Keep everything that I feel deep deep inside. And sometimes I feel jaded...